To be friend or not to be friend

Sometimes you are blinded because you are into him. Its the beginning of the relationship and that is when it is the most beautiful. All is so perfect and nothing could go wrong.
I accepted that we could be friends until he made the fatal mistake of kissing me. Little did I know that, that would be the first and last time he would kiss me like that. I do not regret it. I am hurt by it though. I led my heart to believe that it was different this time. I feel so stupid!!
I had one goal in mind and I should have stuck to it. Ughhhhh! I vow not to let it happen again.
I feel sorry for the next guy who crosses my path. Its not his fault but if he really wants what I want then its not going to matter.
So now I am faced with the question...do I continue this friendship or do I take back my promise and tell him to f off?

Beginning of a broken heart

I feel like my heart hurts. My breathing is shallow and my eyes are swollen from crying. Its my own fault. I was told from the beginning. Why do I let my heart guide me? Why do I continue this pattern of behavior? What can I do to stop this insanity? I feel that this time this time this time is different. Its finally here. Love has found me and finally I'm going to have my fairytale. Why does it always end the same? My heart getting hurt! Somehow I don't learn. This time I hurt myself. I knew what I was getting into. I knew from the start. Nobody lied to me but myself. I have to be stubborn.